Saturday, 12 February 2011

A bit of a parody

13th January – Port Dickson to Melaka – 53.84 miles, av 10.7, max 27.1, ride time 5 hours.
A sad farewell to a great hotel and one that was fitting for my big 40. We rode south along the coast road past resort after resort and realised that other than the one where you could stay in a tepee, we had chosen wisely and fortuitously again. The roads meandered through plantation after plantation until we joined the rush into Melaka. Initial thoughts were just like any other town we had stayed in. We tried to get lodgings at Emily’s for obvious reasons but the grump that showed us round was enough for us to say thanks but no thanks. Tony’s which was recommended to us by Jacqui and Aaron was shut for a holiday, Heritage was exactly that, a piece of Chinese heritage with carved stairs in blues and reds, a dipping pool and heavy wooden panelled walls, neglected and run down so we settled for yet another mansion, this time the Yellow Mansion Hotel or its newly acquired hostel across the road. Dinner was in the food court of one of the large shopping malls and an evening stroll revealed that we had landed ourselves in the heart of the UNESCO protected heritage area. Chance versus planning again.
14th – 16th January 2011 – Melaka tourista
Melaka is walkable should you be able bodied, prepared for traffic dodging and enjoy the randomness of pedestrianisation, some where it should be and others woefully missing. I would describe Melaka as a parody of itself, I am not the first to do so. The protected site brings tourists, tourists bring money, money buys things, land is then cleared for shopping malls, shopping malls bring traffic, one way systems are put in to manage the flow, the flow is continuous, crossing the road becomes a sport of the fittest and bravest, tourists gets coaches, coaches drive the streets that are made for walking, streets become clogged, tourists stay away…I am not  writing this to do down the cultural heritage of the city but something has to change, we walked the city, it did not take long to do. The Dutch and English colonialisation/heritage/tidelines are still very much in evidence through both the buildings and street names. 
The heart of Dutch influence


Once thriving trading river, now a peaceful waterway

The maritime museum, set within a replica boat, is a passive experience of reading font size 10 on coloured backgrounds with a higher than average fog index, way higher than you would get in a UK broadsheet, and looking at pictures drawn or painted in the 21st Century of what the 18th Century might have looked like. In fact this is where we had our second lesson in Malaysian politics from a retired government worker on a visit south. Rant he did and when I turned round I saw G creeping back up the stairs from whence we came. I did listen to this guy and he had a fair point. If you are going to put your heritage on display at least be proud of it and make it something that all ages could relate to.
Maritime museum


The Sultanates Palace built in the 1990’s based on drawings is an orgy of diorama’s filled with mannequins from the days of  ‘Fosters’ or ‘C&A’.
Sultanates Palace

Diorama number 21304040...


St Pauls church sitting as a ruin overlooking the city has buskers and the man with the snake, lizard and parrot for photos. The grave stones that are propped against the wall can be read with the noise of 2011 interpretations of Lady Ga Ga being played on mobiles, ipods, blackberries and again the buskers.
St Pauls

The view from St Pauls hill overlooking the remains of the fort and yet more hotel/shopping mall development
There were some random placement of vehicles throughout the heritage quarter which included but not limited to jet fighters, train engine and carriage, armoured personnel carriers, a bus and a 1958 Cadillac. I am still at a loss as to what the purpose was of this other than to clutter the green spaces between the buildings.
We did need some essentials so the malls provided an observation of people opportunity as well as G being told that she had somehow become an XL after being measured by someone who must have had 10 X’s before the L. The is a lot of freesizing in SE Asia, meaning that if you are a size 4 or 24 inch waist you are ok, other than that expect the indignity of moving into the big and mighty category.
Our saving grace in Melaka was the New Heritage Café (if you can have such a thing), run by a dutch couple who shared the premises with an evening Chinese karaoke bar. The welcome, feel at home, food and chilled atmosphere was great and the day we spent planning our final legs of the trip and flights home were made easier by basing ourselves here for the day. Have a look at this completely unbiased review, it is not often I will be tempted to put my thoughts in print...
Trishaws were awesome, they are powered by pedal and car battery, the driver provides the movement, the battery powers the lights and car stereo and bass boxes. I cant see it catching on in the UK just yet but take a good cruising strip like Southend sea front and imagine instead of lowered Corsa’s, bikes with side cars covered in flowers, lights and speakers…I will let the photos speak.
awesome

awesome at night too


Waiting for fares

Walking back one evening we heard the sound of a dump valve, awesome…except for the sub 1 litre Perouda it was attached to…pimping your vehicle here is a past time and makes for much amusement except for the draw droppingly gorgeous Bentley tourer which I had to dribble over.
Now whilst you may have read this and thought why visit, Jonkers street market on a Fri-Sun is well worth the hazards and we enjoyed Melaka inspite of itself, get away from the heavily populated tourista bits and ti becomes an enjoyable experience. and on occasion enchanting experience. The street is shut to traffic and comes alive with hundreds of stalls and 1000’s of locals and tourists, it is dominated at one end by a stage on which many chinese will perform their practised routines, all involving song and some form of body movement which I would call dance, and G would call something else. I recognised some of the moves but only because my level of dancefloor coordination normally involves watchers asking if I need a paramedic due to fitting. Unfair I say and I was delighted to see some of my well honed moves transcend national boundaries and being interpreted by others.
Beautiful lady

Jonkers St

Really...yes and was doing a roaring trade from a stall

Old TV...nope...fishtank in old tv
Southern Indian food including vegetarian chicken, a first, on banana leaves was awesome and I will now search for these leaves when I return as I have made a cup/bowl and plates are easy, disposable and environmentally sound. Blog drafting and packing for our trip into KL completed the evening.

UH OH BIG 40

9th – 12th January – Avillion Resort, Port Dickson
After a late get up and G off to do secret stuff, whilst I wandered into town to see what PD really had to offer. There is a lot of new development being done on the sea facing side and as usual in Malaysia you are not quite sure whether it is open, being opened or far from open, but all the signs are mostr definitely optimistic in nature accept this one

We lunched at KFC and just as we were packing up met Ahmad who was originally from JB in the south but had lived and worked in PD for 6 years, excellent English and very entertaining conversation in which half way through he said in a sombre and deliberate tone, ‘ could I ask you both a question?’ many things went through our minds in this predominately Muslim governed state. We have on many occasion since arriving had to sign in as Mr & Mrs to the point where G’s signature with my surname comes very naturally, what could his questions be we wondered. ‘ How tall is Big Ben?’ he asked – phew we laughed probably a little too loudly with relief and answered as best we could. The time had flown by and we realised we needed to get a wriggle on to make the most of our next destination.

Arrived at Avillion and checked in, bikes and us in the service lift down to 3 floors from the top of the cliff and into our amazing ocean view room perched on stilts with the sea underneath us. 4 poster bed, double day bed, veranda (for bikes) and the most amazing semi open air bathroom I have ever had the pleasure of using. AWESOME. Into the infinity adult only pool and watched the peacocks and hens strutting round the pool.

The following day I woke early and cleared my inbox then when G rose I was greeted with a Happy Birthday and pressies. I had a little car from Nathan and beach ball from em and somehow a photo frame with 4 pics of me and G from our trip so far. I was a little emotional and the laziest of days was only interrupted later by one of the best massages I have ever had in the hotel spa. I asked for medium strength and was pleased I did as he certainly worked out some of the strained muscles and knots that I did not even know I had. Dinner had been prearranged without my knowledge and it was a fusion of seafood followed by being serenaded by a quartet as my cake was delivered. AMAZING and the perfect end to a great day, thank you G.

Our second full day started with us agreeing that we needed a third so we booked in for another night. There is something about this place that is incredibly relaxing and before getting back on the horrid south dual carriageway a further period of pool time, turning over to reach for the suntan lotion has now been authorised by us both. So that is what we are doing. Oh and riding for 6 days on the trot is the most consecutive days we have done so we’ve earned it!

The Malaysian Peninsula

3rd Janaury 2011 – Georgetown to Taiping – 60.84 miles, av 10.6, max 28.7, Ride time 5 hours 40 mins
Boo hoo, boo hoo, we are leaving one of the best places on the planet I have ever had the fortune to stay in. Thank you to Poh, Eric and all of the staff for making our stays here so fabulous. Now to the ferry which is the alternative to the bridge for many as we found, being at the head of the queue with around 120 motos behind us. The barrier was moved and like an F1 pack jostling for the first corner we headed onto the ferry. Cars take up the most space and we slot in where we can.

The view from the handlebars

Our view of Butterworth

The ferry is free versus the bridge and toll, and 20 mins later we were on the mainland again in the ferry port of Butterworth. Now where did all the signs go. Ummm, the map detail we have is not great as most have dispensed with paper and coloured lines and gone for GPS including the Malaysian equivalent of Ordinance Survey so we were reliant on signage.
It started to rain and spirits high we used instinct and compass to guide us onto the right road, eventually. Signs are in blue for expressways, which we cant ride on and green for highways and other roads we can. Oh and now they have changed round the other way, oh than changed back again, what fun we had in torrential monsoon rain. This is the first day back for many schools too.
The hardshoulder is about 6 inches wide, then it is 4 lanes of traffic, 2 in each direction separated by 2 solid white lines in the middle of the road. Potholes are the size of small lakes and just as deep, we are soaked within the first hour and it looks like it is set on for the day. I now have water in my ear from the spray thrown up by the cars and lorries, there is major flooding on the roadside and across the road. Trucks seem to give us a wider berth than cars and are more tolerant when turning left and will wait behind us across junctions, cars will try and cut between us or race in front to then cut across with inches to spare between our front wheels and there passenger side doors. A much need stop at a cafĂ© and help from a patron to order hot coffee helped us on to our lunch stop buffet which was amazing in terms of the amount, flavour, and quality of food. At last we have arrived in a country that knows how to cook chicken and when they say they have chicken it is not chicken offal! Very friendly welcomes when you smile, if you don’t the impassive stare will follow you. The next 48km consisted of monsoon rain, puddles, lakes, pothole avoidance and generally head down until we turned off on a smaller road signed to Taiping, up into the mountains through passes newly cut, lush jungle plantations owned by Sime Darby and the rain held off for 40 mins, which enabled both people and wild life to come out in force and I had my first encounter with a snake. Not sure who saw who first but we both decided on instant opposite direction courses of actions and my heart rate took the next 5 miles to calm down.
We stopped for our afternoon refreshments at a small Chinese bakers and whilst consuming much sugar I was approached by the owner of the shop next door who showed great interest in what we were doing as many have. English in Malaysia is spoken to a far higher degree than anywhere else we have been which is making a refreshing change to be understood without miming. He then asked if I had ridden all the way with my son…G did not hear this at the time and on repeating I really wished I hadn’t…
We rode into Taiping and stopped at a set of lights to get our bearings. I then heard a ‘good evening’ from another Chinese man who was out for his early evening walk. He had lived in the UK from 1946 to 1952 and was very pleased to help us find accommodation and asked/instructed the man at reception to look after us, which they duly did. We stayed at the Cherry Inn, a place with much review on its limited fire exits but to be perfectly honest the room was clean, the shared bathrooms spotless and the owner very helpful as we need to hose down all our bags and panniers before we entered as they were covered with the dirt of a hard and long ride on the wettest day we had had so far. In fact in the papers the following day, it was reported that it was the wettest monsoon day for years! Brilliant! Dinner in a Chinese chop house with a table in the road and sleep soon followed.
4th January 2011 – Taiping to Sitiawan – 54.81 miles, av 10.8, max 25.3, ride time 5hours and a minute!
Getting out of Taiping was not as easy as we thought and this is the second day that despite best intentions, the compass and instinct won through along with helpful locals. Part of the reason for the non existence of road signs is the massive road and rail infrastructure projects being undertaken which mean many diversions whilst yet another expressway is carved through the jungles to bring much needed modernisation…well I imagine this is what the sell is. The ride is now in the jungle plantations that line the west coast of Malaysia, primarily palm oil, the key ingredient for one of the most used cooking and drinking products in SE Asia – condensed milk – omg, Dad you would love it here, no need to pack a squeezy tube of the stuff you can literally buy it by the bucket load. Kopi panas (hot coffee) consists of condensed milk at the bottom and coffee poured on top which you can stir or not as is your want.

Refreshment and lotion stop
Lunch was a mixed bag for us both, I managed mine not really knowing what it was but then had the consequences for the next 10 miles riding with very uncomfortable stomach pains and cramps. We rode on to Lumut over bridges that don’t appear on maps and also are made to be as short and steep as possible hence the max speed today is only related to bridge descents!

Floating houses nr Lumut

A bridge of steepness

The joy of bridge descents

 It took 4 attempts at hotels before we finally found one that would accept us and the bikes, this is not something we are used to or the payment of a deposit for the room key, but we are in Hotel Flamingo ( not one of them in sight) and hey it has a pool! Now I did ask if it had water in it following the advice from Alan over dinner before my trip, but forgot to ask if it was clean…it was and we spent an hour in the luxury of the water before hunting down supplies for breakfast. Again met the chinese owner of the shop who had been a chef in a restaurant near Marylebone station in London for over 10 years.
Today was a day of colour and wildlife – yellows, purples, metallic gold, orange, red and blues all so very vivid in flight. Some massive spiders hanging in their webs off telegraph poles which I am glad that is where they stayed watching us ride by.
It was 2am when the storm woke me and I looked over to see that the bed was empty…now a quick call out resulted in no answer so thinking that maybe sleep on the ivory tower had befallen I heaved myself from the cozy slumber and went to investigate. Nope not present or correct, brain goes for a spin and I look round to for my phone to call G then see that the laptop case is on the bed…umm I know we are behind on blogging but really? – leaving the door ajar go down to the reception to find G worried out of her head cos she realised at sometime before 2am that we had left the international phone in Taiping…hey ho, sleep came a little while later.

5th January 2011 Sitiawan to Bungai Besar – 58.02 miles, Av 11.1, Max 24.7, ride time 5 hrs 10 mins

It was a cooler morning than most so far after the thunderstorms of the early morning had cleared some of the humidity, easy ride out of town, primarily because we had managed to ping the satellite transponder the night before so knew exactly where we were in relation to exiting. Jungle palms and plantations soon gave way to open paddy fields for miles, which meant very limited opportunities for rest stops and refreshments. We saw much of the flooding from 2 days ago still cutting houses off from the road, then we seemed to merge with lorries of every size, we in Malaysia have replaced the vehicle of choice as goods transport.

Every now and then for a mile or so there would be a dedicated cycle lane and then 4 inches of hardshoulder for the rest of the time. We detoured down a side road to get to Sungai Besar, our overnight stop only to return to the main road and have to use this to get the last few clicks into town. Help from a local on a moto saw us arrive at the Ocean View Hotel (if you had the right room in the right place and bionic eyes). Very friendly towards us and the bikes which meant we could relax and enjoy our surroundings. Dinner at a seafood restaurant next to the harbour was an experience in choosing our fish from the days catch and then choosing the sauce, it was awesome and on payig the bill we were ‘asked if we had cycled here?’ – ummm, only to be asked by the man in the shop when we bought our breakfast supplies ‘ if we were the cyclists?’ – he explained that as it was a small town, off the tourist route that there only western visitors tended were bike tourers, and also as it was small town within 5 minutes of arriving most new that we were here.
Purple herons, an oriental hornbill, steppe eagles, cattle egrets and stork billed kingfishers made up a day in which we saw more bird life than we had in the whole of Thailand.


6th January 2011 – Sungai Besar to Kuala Selnager – 36.73 miles, av 10.7, max 15.2, 3hrs 24minutes ride time

A fast ride into KS and more dual carriageway than really wanted to ride on but the alternative bone shaker roads would have done us some physical damage without suspension bikes. Our morning break at a small store off the main road became an event at which chairs were found and children brought to greet us.

Malay hospitality at a small roadside shop


Then we were into KS, another moto rider took us to the hotel once he knew what our budget was and lunch at a ‘Secret Recipe’ diner and an afternoon of internet admin whilst G ploughed on through the second of the Salander novels. G was also told that she looked like Barbie by the rather cute receptionist which made up for pre Taiping comments!
The real reason we are here is the fireflies. They are supposed the only fireflies in SE Asia who synchronise their lights, so a taxi ride just after dark and we shrugged on our lifejackets boarded an electric boat and were immersed for the next hour in the wonder of these creatures and their ability to light up the river side. Cynics may have thought that prearranged Christmas lights had been set up but when you see them move and land on the hand of our taxi driver and continue to blink you realise the power of mother nature. No photos allowed so you will have to imagine a very very well laid out set of white Christmas lights which then move, hover and glow in perfect synchronicity. It is a memory I will have for a long time.
Home and an accidental stop at the cake shop meant full stomachs but prepared for a hard day tomorrow as we get nearer to the environs of KL.

7th January 2011 – Kuala Selanger to Pantai Morib – 57.34 miles, Av 10.8, max 30.2, ride time of 5 hours and 15 minutes
The worst day on a road so far in SE Asia for both of us, since I arrived on October 31st. In parts it was absolutely terrifying to be riding on the roads and I have not felt like that on this trip, even leaving Bangkok was a walk in the park compared to today. Lorries misjudging traffic lights and skidding with trailers swinging, jackknife style in our direction, cars brushing sleeves as they squeezed past at motorway speeds, lorries coming so close you could read the braked trailer weight tags, it was an absolute pleasure to get beyond Klang and head towards the nearest beach to KL at Morib. Ummm not a lot there and despite being told that there were no hotels south of us, instinct said that there may well be and within 2 miles we came across Villa Morib, a whole villa to ourselves. Dumped our stuff and set off to find the usual supplies and then by chance met Aaron and Jacqui who were cycling from Sydney to the UK via China and Mongolia. They stopped with us and stayed in the same Villa. OMG I was inspired by their journey stories to date both of Indonesia and their last major tour in British Columbia , their helpfulness as I had yet another valve puncture and their love of life. I hope we do meet up with them when they arrive in the UK at Christmas and that there travels are safe.

Villa Morib lounge view
Loaded and ready to go
Aaron, Jacqui, G and Me
8th January 2011 – Morib to Port Dickson – 50.63 miles, av 10.8, max 31.9, ride time 4hrs 38
Having put in a repaired tube last night and a fast first 18 miles I then hit something at the rode side that forced a piece of steel though the tire wall of my rear and out the other side. This was my first real major puncture and meant we had to repair another tube and stand at the roadside acknowledging the toots and waves without ever saying hello to a concerned motorist until almost an hour had passed and an Indian guy on a moto asked if we needed help and told us that the next town could do a more permanent repair to the tube. Mini climbs today up and around the coast road, lunch with some motorbike tourers on their easyriders with lots of photos and we rode onto towards PD. We had booked a hotel for the 10th as it was going to be a big birthday for me but on checking it out we realised that despite the pictures and email intentions, bikes would have to be left outside and the hotel was a package deal, tour bus mecca…not our favourite of destinations. So onto PD proper and it lived up to the guide books descriptions…Pitsea by the sea, so we identified hotel street and went on the coast road to see if we could find an alternative to the Legend hotel. Avillion is where we stopped and we are now booked into for 3 nights. Back to PD and the hotel room is best described as bijou, one of us gets changed whilst the other waits in the corridor but bikes are in the storeroom, and dinner at the local market was very very good. Went back and watched a movie before relaxing into la la land knowing that we had a lazy day ahead before getting to Avillion.