No.1. Hit by a flying portaloo

Yep this did actually happen today as I was merrily (not merrry) driving my way back from a pitch to a board in Bristol. Slow motion as follows...I was heading towards the motorway and home, could see lorry coming towards me with around 4 portaloo's on it, as it went down a dip in the road they started to sway, I slowed as I could see they were going to tip, they did, I swerved into the verge (just cut as man was in garden- great witness), first one then the other loo hit the road, I missed the lampost by 1.5 inches (we measured it), portaloo number one did not miss me and crunched into front of car and sprayed blue liquid all down side of car. Portaloo 2 hit portaloo one and spun round to hit back of my car... all in about 4 seconds.

So hazards on, drivers in other cars swerving round loos in road (thanks for stopping people!). Errol, the man whose grass verge has my tyre tracks on it was awesome, as was his wife who came out armed with a camera and has taken all the decent photos for me and they went in the post tonight. He even washed the blue and unthinkable off my car for me, what a great couple and whilst I have said a thank you earlier tonight on the phone, again these random acts of kindness still amaze me.

I sat on the wall for a bit as Errol (pictured)requested, he said rather that than me fall into the road which now had my car one side, the lorry the other and 2 slightly forlorn looking portaloos stood on the side of the road leaking across the road. Hey ho, the manager of the driver who I spoke to came from the land of complete arses, as I wanted to check that the driver had given me the right details. Some people just dont know how to ask if you are ok? is that the nature of the litigous world we live in or does the assembly line of humankind just let some slip through.

So upshot of saga is new front wing, bonnet, headlight, bumper, fog light and not sure what has gone on behind the panels. I am fine if a little shaken by the experience. So the car gets picked up tomorrow and hire car dropped off. Joy, but I am so glad that (a) I was in what I was in as if it was a car it would have gone through windscreen, (b) it was not a cyclist (c) it was not a horse rider or anyone on foot as at combined speed of around 75mph a portaloo does not maketh a fitting end. I also expect that this will feature in the annual insurance round up of can you believe what people claim they had happen to them smileys. If only I was, smiling that is.